Wow...

It's been a while. There is so much on my mind at this point. There is no way I can type it all out. The past few weeks have been absolutely crazy. Crazy fun, crazy stressful, crazy sad, and crazy crazy.

My brother left for school while I was still at church. I don't really feel sad, I just know and acknowledge that you are gone. Maybe I'm just not worried about you. Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet.

At first I wasn't afraid of how I would feel. I wasn't worrying about my emotions and I thought I would be fine. Not until that expanse of what felt like seconds when I know it was much longer. Never in my life had I ever held someone so close and for so long. I crumbled when you told me you could hear my heartbeat. I wasn't standing on the ground anymore. And when you turned around on your way to leave, those crumbled pieces melted. I felt like time was standing still. I wish I could have made time stand still. The next night I wrote down my thoughts. I hope you read them at the right moment. Night seems to be our best time of day, but this morning was great and I'm so glad it happened. Thank you for everything.

Goodbye and good luck to both of you. I know you will be great.